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I was going to wait until tomorrow to post something about the Darren Wilson verdict for a couple reasons.  First off, I wanted to give myself time to process, to research, to actually try and understand everything that’s going on.  Second, I usually post on Tuesday anyway.  But I have changed my mind.  Not because I think anyone especially needs to hear what I have to say, but because I need to say it, I need to do the writing in order to do the processing.

Here’s what I know: Darren Brown is not even being tried here.  They have determined a crime has not been committed.  Even though, as this blogger points out, it is incredibly unusual for someone not to be indicted.  Even though, as the prosecutor himself said less than an hour ago, “There is no doubt that Darren Wilson is responsible for Michael Brown’s death.”  Because “anyone can use force in defense.”

Except…isn’t there a such thing as excessive force?  He was shot six times.  Even if he WAS a threat, six is far more than necessary to neutralize it.

Oh, and I know that “anyone” thing isn’t true because this happened despite Stand Your Ground laws.

I understand there are a lot of different viewpoints, and I understand that witnesses are not always reliable.  But this was an 18 year old whose body was left laying in the street for four hours after his death.

I can’t get over that.  I feel like there are far too many questions.  At the very least, I want this to lead to cameras on cops. I want more transparency and accountability.

And all of the aftermath?  All of the peaceful protests that are being talked about as violent, even though the pictures show policemen in armor and protesters with their hands in the air?

My heart hurts.

I’ve also read a lot about how this isn’t our battle (“us” being the white people).  I understand where this is coming from, and I understand what you mean.  And I’m not sure how to respond to that.  Because I know I will never completely appreciate what you are going through, I know that I am highly privileged and I know that I am safe from this kind of violence and oppression.  But I feel like equality should be everyone’s battle.

So, that being said…I lend you my support, my ear, and my heart. I ask that you forgive me my own transgressions.  I hope the world can get better.  I hope Anne Frank was right.

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