Monthly Archives: April 2012

Always a Bridesmaid

I am awful at consistency.  Really.  Even when I have interesting things to report, I have a hard time just making myself get on here and reporting them, because it seems like no one will care if nothing is here anyway.  That’s not saying I don’t write things that no one will care about.  I definitely do (even some I won’t post on, but sometimes I procrastinate when I want it to be good.

That being said, this happened on March 29, 2012.  One of my best friends in the entire world got married.

Her name is Rose (technically Rosetta).  And I had gone home Wednesday night in order to be there the day of her wedding.  I was the maid of honor.

This is a job I can do.  I’ll do better when I have more money, but even as it was, I feel like I did pretty well.  The night before I had planned for us to go play laser tag (that kind of fell through, but that’s a different story that isn’t mine to tell).  We got sparkling grape juice and sat on the porch watching the stars and chatting for a few hours.  We bought underwear.  Well…I bought her underwear.  For her wedding night, you know.  And I joked that she could still back out, but only once and then congratulated her multiple times.  These are things I think a maid of honor should do.

Then, the wedding day came.  My job, I had been told, was to hold the ring until the preacher asked for it.  Theoretically I was also supposed to hold a bouquet, but there were no flowers.

Have you ever watched How I Met Your Mother?  The episode Something Borrowed when Lily and Marshall got married?

Yeah.  That was our day.

I had planned to be at Rose’s house at 11 (Yes, I was probably going to be pushing it.  If you expect me to show up on time, you don’t know me very well).  But I got a call at about 9:30 from Rose, who was…let’s say, concerned because her dress wasn’t fitting properly.  So as soon as I was able, I made my way to the mall to meet her, her mother, and Emily (the other bridesmaid).

Now, the first dress she had bought was really pretty.  It was a mermaid style and white (not always obvious these days, thank you) with colorful wildflowers trailing diagonally over the stomach and to the hip.  (And if someone who’s actually seen it is reading this…that description’s close enough for government work.)  But the thing is, it wasn’t actually a wedding dress.  This was, technically, a prom dress that happened to be white, but it looked great on her and she wanted it, so it was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

She was already in Bedazzled when I got there, and she was just about to get out of the first dress.  It was pretty, but it would need some alterations and we weren’t entirely sure it was a good idea.  So she tried the second one on.  And that dress was magic.  Still white, still with flowers, but the flowers were the same color as the dress, it was strapless with a corset back and a train, and it was a perfect fit.  Add in a veil, and you’ve got instant bride.

For all intents and purposes, at least, but we were planning on getting hair and nails done too.  And that was super easy!  We had no problems whatsoever!

(Yeah right.)

Rose had apparently called the hair place and told them to be prepared for multiple walk-ins, but of course they weren’t.  She called me while I was headed there from the mall.  She told me that there was only one person working, and they were coloring somebody’s hair, so we needed to find another place to get our hair done.  We looked at one place, then decided to try the local beauty school.  They were preparing for an assembly and weren’t taking anyone else until the afternoon.  Rose was frantically looking for another salon when her mother suggested we go to our nail appointment an hour early and just take care of the hair after that.

That one actually worked out.

I will skip ahead a little to the actual wedding, but it will be brief.  Rose, Jakob (the groom) and their two witnesses went into the magistrate’s office at 7:30 pm to get the paperwork done.  Then she came back out and told us he had to book someone who had just been arrested, and then they could get married.

People…this is where I grew up.  Just saying.

At 7:45 the magistrate called us into the room for the ceremony.  By 7:50, she was Mrs. Rosetta Nocher.  The reception-type event followed.  We did pictures on Saturday.

If there is anything TV gets right, it’s weddings, because usually, things go wrong.  Dramatically wrong.  It happened to my mother, it happened to Rose, and it will all happen again.  But at the end of the day, no matter how it goes, as long as the ceremony is concluded with “I now pronounce you man and wife,” it’s really quite a happy occasion.

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